Thankful Summer 2024
When I was in residential treatment, I was expected to follow strict rules. Everyone was expected to follow them. Everyone’s recovery was supposed to move along pretty much the same path. Everyone was seen in view of their disorders, not as unique original people.
In-patient treatment did save my life. I will
not go into details, but it did curtail my most dangerous behaviors. And
for that I am grateful but I do not look back on it as a positive time in my
life.
I have not made a secret of my current summer
struggles. The last month hasn’t been easy. The subject of residential
treatment has been brought up again. But, instead of focusing on the negatives
today, I am going to try to count my blessings!
I am especially THANKFUL for my “treatment-without-walls”
team. I am still in intense treatment, but now I meet with professionals that I
have chosen. People who “get” me and my needs. Each of them meets me where I am
(at any given moment!) and helps me through the tough times while also recognizing
& cheering me through even the smallest successes.
I am THANKFUL for my Spiritual Director. I have
known her for years and years. Though she has no personal experience with
eating disorders, she has walked a similar road to mine in so many other ways.
She is still navigating some of the same issues I am. She is sweet, compassionate,
understanding, patient, and so wise. She helps me stay on (or at least, sort of,
near) the path to peace, holiness, God. She reminds me I am never alone on that
path.
I am THANKFUL for my PCP. I have also been with
her for years. And she also has little experience treating anorexia. But she
has gone the extra mile so many times over the last year to find out how best
to support me and to make sure I take care of my body as I struggle with my
emotional issues. She never gives up on me and is willing to collaborate with
me and the other professionals on my team despite the ups and downs, I take her
through.
I am THANKFUL for my psychiatrist. One the
surface, she and I have nothing in common at all. She is young & trendy in ways
I’ve never been. And yet, my appointments with her feel like conversations with
a friend. She is encouraging, understanding and super helpful in all aspects of
my struggles and my crazy life.
I am THANKFUL for my therapist. She specializes
in eating disorder treatment. She shares my faith. She knows firsthand what I
am going through. She allows me to take steps back when I need to so when I am ready,
I can move forward again. The back-and-forth is part of the healing journey.
She knows that and walks with me through it all. She prays with me and prays
for me at every meeting!
And last—I cannot put into words how THANKFUL I
am for my dietician. She is so much more than just a professional on the team.
She is like a sister. She is willing and happy to be my sounding board & my
greatest cheerleader in all this. She gets EVERY aspect of my insane life. We
share similar mid-life issues and similar family dynamics. We share our faith
and beliefs. We share the experience of an eating disorder (though she has put hers
solidly behind her). We share prayer and frustration and joy in our weekly
meetings. More than anyone else in the world, SHE GETS ME. And she stays on top
of all my treatment, communicating with the other professionals, communicating
with my husband, checking in with me and being there for me always,
These people have (and are) saving my life. And,
though it is SO INCREDIBLY , INDESCRIBIBLY HARD, I am THANKFUL for this
life of mine.
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