Life and Death Collide

We went to a funeral last weekend. It was for a nearly 80-year-old man, the father of a close family friend. We mourned the loss and were saddened to say good bye but we also were able to celebrate his life.  He achieved his life’s goals and led a full life with a successful career, a loving wife, a devoted son & 2 precious, adorable grandchildren. At the end of the Mass, I witnessed a beautiful exchange between the man’s wife and a young mother who approached to pay her respects with her infant son in her arms. The baby had been a bit fidgety and antsy during the ceremony…but he burst into a huge grin when facing the grief-stricken widow. She too smiled in spite of her tears. She couldn’t help it- the baby’s joy was infectious. It was beautiful to see life intersect with death and realize this is God’ s plan. It is truly “The circle of life” as the Lion King movie calls it.

Last night, my husband and his siblings met over zoom from various corners of the country to discuss their own father’s failing health. It is time to consider long term nursing care and my father-in-law is not very accepting of the reality of it. He has threatened to discontinue his life-saving medical treatments if he is “forced” into a nursing home.

This morning, I got a text from my brother that he is about to become a grandfather! My nephew’s first son, whose arrival we’ve been eagerly anticipating, will likely come today!  Baby isn’t due for another week and a half but they are at the hospital in labor as I type this! 

Again, life and death sliding so close to one another it seems they are practically colliding. As we prepare to say goodbye to my father-in-law, we also rejoice in the new life of my grand-nephew (the first baby in this next generation of my family).

 

God has been speaking to me of life & death a lot in my scripture reading lately. I continue to battle my eating disorder and I try to strive forward to greater health and stability but it is difficult. God has gently reminded me of the choice that lay before me every day.

In Deuteronomy 30:19-20, He says,

“I call heaven and earth today to witness against you: I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live, by loving the Lord, your God, obeying His voice, and holding fast to Him.”

In the gospel of John 10:10, Jesus tells us,

“I came so that they [you] might have life and have it more abundantly.”

I know I am being called to live my life…the life God has blessed me with. He wants me  to live it to its fullest, embracing the ups and downs and fulfilling the purpose He has for me. Yet, it is STILL SO HARD each day to make the choice to overcome my struggles: against food, against depression and anxiety, against my own weaknesses. Even as I hear God’s voice and try to cling to His word, I struggle to embrace the abundant life He wants for me.

If you are reading this and you are a praying person- please pray for my friends who continue to process and mourn the loss of their beloved father, please pray for my father-in-law and his children as they try to make the right decisions for his end-of-life care and his last months here on earth. And please pray for me that I can make the right choices, the one God wills for me and my family. Thank you.

The last time life and death met-
the last month of my grandmother's life
and my youngest son's as an infant